Final Call

I deleted every single post from like the last two years. i went through all of them, and it was abit of a shock...so much anger, so much pain. and i can honestly say i am having a rougher year so far. but here i am. slightly always sad, but what is new? So this is my last attempt at this, this being, writing about my life on here, my struggles with my family, my eating and my general state of...craziness. i say final because i cannot keep posting a final call every few days. i need to reinvent myself. i need to try and live a little. maybe i have tried, haha, maybe i haven't. last August i got to my lowest weight. i won't say what it was because it wasn't my UGW, but my mum came back sick, and tired and we had a really bad fight about my bones and such, and i could not see myself making her worry about me besides everything else. so i gained weight. needless to say, i detest it. i dream about it, i think about it, but for some reason i am back to being stuck between these ten pounds that do not want to leave me alone. i have good days of restricting, fasting, and then days where i wake up with a greasy sausage in my mouth (days i spend at the girl's house) and i cry and i piss and moan about it. but i am done. final call. the last of it all. i miss my bones, more than i miss my girl's kisses.